


We're Worth It

by icandrawamoth



Series: 31-Day Horoscope Challenge [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, Emotions, Established Relationship, Hopeful Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Pre-Canon, Relationship Discussions, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9233771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icandrawamoth/pseuds/icandrawamoth
Summary: “I've been thinking about us.” Bodhi's face twists, the words coming out as if they pain him. “Whether or not this is a good idea.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: January 3rd: _Watch out for a jolt in the action, Capricorn, as someone close to you puts on the brakes in a relationship. There could be conflicts based on a need for more structure and stability in the partnership. The imbalance between having fun and taking care of practical matters is currently working to slowly destroy the good thing that you have going. Nip this problem in the bud._
> 
> (Title from Jason Mraz's "I Won't Give Up," which randomly came on the other day while this fic was still percolating in the back of my head and is now my song for them.)

After a long day day in the lab and lingering over a bland supper in the commissary, Galen trudges back to his quarters, ready to turn in for the night. He keys in the security code outside the door, and is surprised when it responds with a beep that tells him the door is already unlocked. Immediately suspicious, he eases it open and peers inside. All of that evaporates instantly when he spots Bodhi sitting inside, having looked up at the door opening.

“I didn't know you were coming in today,” Galen says with a grin, feeling suddenly lighter at the unexpected presence of his lover. “I would have tried to get out of work sooner.”

Bodhi's mood doesn't seem to match, though, as he frowns up at the older man. “I sent you a holonet message two days ago, when I agreed to take this run.”

Galen tries to remember if he had seen it or not. It was possible he'd either missed it or read it and then forgotten in the course of his work. “I'm sorry, love.”

Bodhi looks away from him, staring into his lap, one finger picking nervously at the arm of the chair.

Sensing his unease runs deeper than a missed message, Galen sits down across from him. “What's wrong, Bodhi?”

It takes a long, long moment before Bodhi meets his eyes again. “I've been thinking,” he says.

“About?” Galen feels inexplicably nervous.

“Us.” Bodhi's face twists, the words coming out as if they pain him. “Whether or not this is a good idea.”

Galen's heart squeezes painfully. Part of him always feared this would happen. “What has you thinking like this?” he asks, forcing his voice not to shake.

Bodhi's gaze has skittered away again, looking anywhere but at Galen. “I almost got caught coming here,” he says. “Had to do some quick talking to a couple of your coworkers as to why I was so far away from the pilots' quarters.” His eyes flick up, then away again. “I don't like having to sneak around, Galen,” he says, emotion bleeding into his voice. “I just...wish I could be with you, like a normal couple, you know?” He makes a frustrated sound and levers himself out of the chair, pacing across the small room. “I know it sounds ridiculous. _I know._ I understand why it has to be this way. I don't want Krennic to know about us any more than you do.” He stops suddenly and whirls to stare at Galen. “Tell me you understand.” His face is agony.

“I do.” There's a tremor in Galen's voice now, too. “I never wanted this for you, Bodhi.” All he can do now is be honest, pray that will keep Bodhi from leaving, and if not, hope that doing so will keep the pilot safe and happy. “You're the best thing that's happened to me in thirteen years. By far. I love you. And I know you don't deserve the way this is, the way I have to treat you.” He groans, wishing his capacity for words and emotional explanations was as good as that for science and mathematics. “If you want to stop this now, I'm not going to beg. You need to do what's best for you.” As much as it pains him to say it, he knows it's right.

Bodhi's face is ashen, as if that wasn't quite the answer he'd expected. “Galen...”

Galen is silent, no idea what to say next, but he can't hide the turbulent emotions on his face.

The tense silence reigns as Bodhi turns away again, pacing, pacing. Finally, after several long moments, he turns back toward Galen and drops to his knees, gazing up. “Tell me what to do,” he nearly begs.

Galen makes a punched out sound and has to look away from the open, pleading expression on the other man's face. Bodhi is clearly as torn as he is, not at all certain of his path. “It's up to you,” the words come out finally, roughy. “I won't force you into anything. I won't try to convince you.”

The tiniest hint of a smile ghosts across Bodhi's face at that. “I knew you wouldn't.” He signs, leaning forward to brace his hands on the arm of Galen's chair. “I don't want to leave you,” he breathes finally.

Galen's heart leaps, but he quashes it. “What does that mean?” he asks plainly.

Bodhi bites his lip. “I really care about you, okay? And I don't want this to end. I don't want it to hurt like it does now, but I don't want it to end. There has to be a way we can make it better.” He gazes up at Galen, pleading. “There has to be.”

Galen nods, feeling his eyes misting. Tentatively, he slides his hand over one of Bodhi's. “Tell me what you want.”

“I don't know,” Bodhi admits, sounding a little rueful. “Not much that I can actually have.” He goes on, wistful. “I want normalcy. I want to know I can come to you, and we won't have to hide. I want to know that whispered conversations and covert sex aren't the only things we share.”

“Mushy stuff, then?” Galen asks, praying the words will lighten the mood rather than offend.

It works. The tiny smile returns, and Bodhi nods. “Yeah, exactly. Silly, right? It's not like the Empire is going to let us or anyone else have a simple life like that.”

Galen squeezes his hand. “One day we'll be out of here, Bodhi,” he says softly, ever mindful of the possibility of other listeners. “The galaxy won't let this stand forever, and one day we'll all be free. I can leave this lab, and you can keep flying, under a better company, or quit, whatever you choose, and we can have a quiet little life somewhere.” He pushes down the thoughts of Lah'mu the fantasy brings swimming to the surface. _It will be better this time around,_ he tells himself, though he's aware of the actual odds of it happening at all.

“I like to imagine that,” Bodhi agrees wistfully.

Galen entwines their hands, gently lifting Bodhi's to brush a kiss over his knuckles. “I want to be good to you, dear heart,” he says earnestly. “I want you to tell me whenever I do or don't do something and make you uncomfortable. I'm so glad we had this conversation. I'm glad you brought it up.”

“You are good to me,” Bodhi tells him. “I know you can only do so much. But I'm glad, too. I want us to be good for each other.” He moves his thumb, stroking Galen's hand in turn.

They lapse into silence, more comfortable silence this time. Eventually, Bodhi gently takes back his hand and stands, stretching. “I think I'm going to go back to the pilot's quarters and get some rest,” he says. “It's been a long day. I just wanted to see you.”

Galen stands too. “You don't have to leave. My bed is always open to you.”

Bodhi makes a face, a more genuine smile taking shape. “I don't want any distractions, old man.”

Galen rolls his eyes at the moniker, finally feeling like they really are okay again. “You'll come back tomorrow?”

Bodhi nods. Galen holds out his arms, and Bodhi steps into the embrace, tilting his head up for a lingering kiss.

“Until tomorrow, then,” the pilot says as he pulls back again. He hesitates as he reaches the door, looking back at Galen. “I love you, too, you know.”

Galen smiles, warmth suffusing his chest. “I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> For a decidedly less angsty fic about these two also inspired by this song, check out [When I Look into Your Eyes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9233978).


End file.
